I can be a soothsayer...
I am suddenly in the writy mood so here’s another one…
The last point in my previous list of learnings was on Linda Goodman and am sure that people might wonder about why I had written that as a learning… So some insights into my thoughts on the Zodiac Circus
As I have mentioned/written a thousand times I am someone who believes that I completely control the path that my life traverses. Most of what has happened to me till now (good+bad) is because that’s the way I made my decisions and I pretty much know how tomorrow’s gonna go coz am pretty sure that it depends on what I did yesterday and what am doing today. If I want something to happen I have it in me to make it happen (or so I think)
Can I represent India in Cricket in the future- Yes of course…If I practice for 6 hrs every day from today and sharpen my skills in about 15 years I can play for the “Above 40”/Seniors Cricket team !!!
Can I dance like Hrithik Roshan – That’s easy for sure. If I decide to amputate my legs and get some artificial limbs fixed I can then train the feet to coordinate with my brain while it comes to dancing. I then would sure be a threat to Roshan Jr.
Can I look like Tom Cruise – Yes by spending about 50 to 100 Million dollars on a series of plastic surgeries I can get close to looking like Mr. Cruise and then life would be a cruise..
But these snide comments apart the point is I can sure dictate the course of my life to reach milestone/objectives/targets that are practical and sensible. That’s what I mean when I say that my life is pretty much in my hands..
So when it comes to stuff like Horoscopes, Sun signs, Moon Signs, Star Signs and predictions I am very very skeptical to the point of being rudely dismissive…
But then when your lady love swears by the Zodiac and holds “Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs” as the Holy book of humanity over and above the Bible, Gita or the Koran you can’t just help but pay some attention to the topic can you? And that’s exactly what I have been doing for sometime. I read some Linda Goodman stuff (courtesy a book gifted by her) and it had not a single good thing to say about Leos (I am one…now people who know Leo characteristics please don’t start abusing me). Its not too pleasant a feeling to read lousy stuff about you page after page is it? So I said goodbye to Ms. Goodman and instead decided to opt for the innocuous yet extremely popular daily forecasts(to just see if they work) in Deccan Chronicle (an additional outflow of Rs. 1.50 per day as The Hindu does'nt feel the need to publish daily Zodiac forecasts)
I have been doing this for sometime now and I should say that it’s a revelation, and No I am talking about the predictions being true. At the risk of being beaten up by her I should say that I can confidently take up a job of writing daily predictions from today without knowing a thing about the stars, planets or constellations.
After careful Analysis I have found a pattern in the way these things are written. Read any bit from any newspaper/magazine and I can tell you that it would fall into one of these patterns.
Let me explain the patterns now
The Irrefutable truth – This one really bugs me a lot. This has advice that can never be turned down simply because its so obvious. Like you know “Actors should rehearse well”, “Accountants should try to reconcile statements”, “Students should practice math”. Now who on earth can disagree with that!!
Smart Hedge – This is a Risk Management professional’s delight. “You might be tired after a long week’s work but the weekend will prove to be a good break”. Come on!!! All of us always have bad days at work and great weekends don’t we. There’s another one…. “People exposed to the stock markets will see profits, however be aware of chances of losing money”…WOW these guys are better than asset management companies.
The Mega Serial mantra – “Loved ones will cause despair. Family problems might keep you worried. You will do well not to argue with your spouse” Ho-hum… as though I do not know the pitfalls of an argument with my spouse…who wants to get beaten up anyways …gimme a break
Feel good factor – who would not want to hear about “You might meet someone interesting”. “Its time for romantic escapades” Its always time for escapades just that money does'nt grow on trees and even if it does I can climb a tree for nuts
Proverbial punchlines – “Opportunity knocks on those who try”…. “Don’t be deterred by failures, keep trying”
With these five rules anyone can write predictions… Believe me… you can, just try. Ok if you still aren’t convinced lemme give you a sample
“Share brokers might have to buy or sell shares today to survive. If you are planning a vacation do your best to not think about expenses and pick the best options, however spending money is not the only way to have a good vacation. Your children might not listen to what you say and might argue with you incessantly. You might have good things said about you by someone you know. Remember that there is no substitute to hard work.”
See, One single outlook for the day that nobody can ever argue with…. Such are the ways of the soothsayers!!! Now tell me can't I be one?
The last point in my previous list of learnings was on Linda Goodman and am sure that people might wonder about why I had written that as a learning… So some insights into my thoughts on the Zodiac Circus
As I have mentioned/written a thousand times I am someone who believes that I completely control the path that my life traverses. Most of what has happened to me till now (good+bad) is because that’s the way I made my decisions and I pretty much know how tomorrow’s gonna go coz am pretty sure that it depends on what I did yesterday and what am doing today. If I want something to happen I have it in me to make it happen (or so I think)
Can I represent India in Cricket in the future- Yes of course…If I practice for 6 hrs every day from today and sharpen my skills in about 15 years I can play for the “Above 40”/Seniors Cricket team !!!
Can I dance like Hrithik Roshan – That’s easy for sure. If I decide to amputate my legs and get some artificial limbs fixed I can then train the feet to coordinate with my brain while it comes to dancing. I then would sure be a threat to Roshan Jr.
Can I look like Tom Cruise – Yes by spending about 50 to 100 Million dollars on a series of plastic surgeries I can get close to looking like Mr. Cruise and then life would be a cruise..
But these snide comments apart the point is I can sure dictate the course of my life to reach milestone/objectives/targets that are practical and sensible. That’s what I mean when I say that my life is pretty much in my hands..
So when it comes to stuff like Horoscopes, Sun signs, Moon Signs, Star Signs and predictions I am very very skeptical to the point of being rudely dismissive…
But then when your lady love swears by the Zodiac and holds “Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs” as the Holy book of humanity over and above the Bible, Gita or the Koran you can’t just help but pay some attention to the topic can you? And that’s exactly what I have been doing for sometime. I read some Linda Goodman stuff (courtesy a book gifted by her) and it had not a single good thing to say about Leos (I am one…now people who know Leo characteristics please don’t start abusing me). Its not too pleasant a feeling to read lousy stuff about you page after page is it? So I said goodbye to Ms. Goodman and instead decided to opt for the innocuous yet extremely popular daily forecasts(to just see if they work) in Deccan Chronicle (an additional outflow of Rs. 1.50 per day as The Hindu does'nt feel the need to publish daily Zodiac forecasts)
I have been doing this for sometime now and I should say that it’s a revelation, and No I am talking about the predictions being true. At the risk of being beaten up by her I should say that I can confidently take up a job of writing daily predictions from today without knowing a thing about the stars, planets or constellations.
After careful Analysis I have found a pattern in the way these things are written. Read any bit from any newspaper/magazine and I can tell you that it would fall into one of these patterns.
Let me explain the patterns now
The Irrefutable truth – This one really bugs me a lot. This has advice that can never be turned down simply because its so obvious. Like you know “Actors should rehearse well”, “Accountants should try to reconcile statements”, “Students should practice math”. Now who on earth can disagree with that!!
Smart Hedge – This is a Risk Management professional’s delight. “You might be tired after a long week’s work but the weekend will prove to be a good break”. Come on!!! All of us always have bad days at work and great weekends don’t we. There’s another one…. “People exposed to the stock markets will see profits, however be aware of chances of losing money”…WOW these guys are better than asset management companies.
The Mega Serial mantra – “Loved ones will cause despair. Family problems might keep you worried. You will do well not to argue with your spouse” Ho-hum… as though I do not know the pitfalls of an argument with my spouse…who wants to get beaten up anyways …gimme a break
Feel good factor – who would not want to hear about “You might meet someone interesting”. “Its time for romantic escapades” Its always time for escapades just that money does'nt grow on trees and even if it does I can climb a tree for nuts
Proverbial punchlines – “Opportunity knocks on those who try”…. “Don’t be deterred by failures, keep trying”
With these five rules anyone can write predictions… Believe me… you can, just try. Ok if you still aren’t convinced lemme give you a sample
“Share brokers might have to buy or sell shares today to survive. If you are planning a vacation do your best to not think about expenses and pick the best options, however spending money is not the only way to have a good vacation. Your children might not listen to what you say and might argue with you incessantly. You might have good things said about you by someone you know. Remember that there is no substitute to hard work.”
See, One single outlook for the day that nobody can ever argue with…. Such are the ways of the soothsayers!!! Now tell me can't I be one?
posted by SS at
1:16 PM
1 Comments:
i share the feeling man. was never the one for these daily doses of zodiac forecasts. and as u say, take a few random things mix em around and voila ur forecast is ready. well put post dude.
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